THE EXPAT
It's producer and children's screenwriter Tim Bain's second time round as an Australian expat in London. This time, with five-year-old twins and a one-year-old baby, he lives south of the Thames in Canada Waters, four stops east of Waterloo Station. Tim's latest kids' TV show Kangaroo Beach (ABC Kids and iView) is modelled on his childhood on the Victorian surf coast. See timbain.com
SEE
Russia Dock Woodland is a huge sprawling park with forests, playgrounds and great picnic spots and runs right up to the Thames. Short, stubby Stave Hill can be climbed very quickly, but offers an incredible view of Canary Wharf on one side and the City of London on the other. There is a children's farm (Surrey Docks Farm) and in the forest the kids go nuts for the squirrels, and the foxes are so tame, they come right up to you.
DO
Secret Cinema offers an "immersive cinema experience" celebrating a different film or TV show each year and invites everyone to dress up as a character from the film and enter that world, with roaming actors, missions to complete and interactive (not e) games, finished with a showing of the film and live scenes performed by actors. I've been to BladeRunner, Back to the Future, and my first, The Empires Strikes Back, where you walked on the desert sands of Tatooine and into the cantina bar scene from the original Star Wars. They're doing Bridgerton this year. See secretcinema.org
EAT
The Mayflower is a beautiful, 17th-century pirate pub on the Thames in nearby Rotherhithe; I think actual pirates drank there, and it's where the Pilgrim Fathers' ship moored in 1620 before sailing to the US. It's got paintings and displays from the age of pirates, and the kids love all the genuine pirate and seafaring. We love it because the food is gourmet pub eating, and the staff are kind enough to offer us sips of various ales. See mayflowerpub.co.uk
DRINK
Recently I went to Common Decency, a subterranean playground in the NoMad hotel in the West End. It had drag acts, burlesques with pyrotechnics shooting out of their nipples and a whiskey list long as my arm. It was worth the three hours' sleep I got between leaving the bar and waking up to look after the baby on Sunday morning. thenomadhotel.com/london
AVOID
Making eye contact on the Tube is to be avoided at all cost. However, the rule doesn't apply if you have a baby or a dog, in which case everyone wants to be your best mate. We have a very cute baby who makes eye contact with every single person on the Tube; he's melted hearts of steely Londoners and has actually started conversations.
THRIVE
Our kids became addicted to swimming living in Sydney, and we go to Parliament Hill lido at Hampstead Heath for outdoor family swimming in summer. See better.org.uk parliamenthilllido.org
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